Sunday, May 18, 2014

A surreal thought...

Tomorrow, our adventure begins. With that thought came the realization that I have no idea what to expect over the next two weeks. The chasm between idea and reality is before me. I've daydreamed about riding and seeing the coast while also realizing that for the vast majority of our trip, my eyes will be scanning the road for things that may try to kill me. Like corners, potholes, and cars. I've daydreamed about places to stop without any idea what I will feel like in the moment, or if we will want to stop at all. I've imagined myself soaking in a hot tub after a long days ride. But none of this compares to the reality of this adventure, for which I have no context. My mind cannot string together these ideas into a meaningful thought that will help me to understand this experience.

This became so clear to me yesterday at our wedding. A year of planning, imagining and picturing, but every moment of the day was more magnificent than I could have imagined. It was small and relaxed, and we had all the important pieces handled by experts. Breakfast was provided. On the way to breakfast, many weather predictions were made; the clouds are parting, the sun is shining, in 17 years, this in has never has rain on a wedding. No matter; our wedding party will be shielded by a tree, and we have fancy umbrellas in case of emergency. I've lived this future multiple times in my mind. On the way to breakfast, we saw and eagle soaring overhead. Our lucky eagle. I couldn't have predicted the magnificence, or that I would know in that moment, with more certainty than before, the day would be perfect. 

The day exists in my mind as a beautiful string of photos and videos. Hearing people I love gathering downstairs, pop in visits, sitting calmly and reflectively waiting for the ceremony to officially start.  Grandma blowing me a kiss as I walked down the aisle, mom and dad tearing up... Nathan, Casi, Lissy, Cody, and Laney standing in front of me, drawing me forward, into the beauty of the moment. 

I could go on, but really this is a honeymoon blog more than a wedding memory blog. I realized yesterday, however, why I hadn't posted on this blog yet. With all the preparations, there has been no way for me to know, to really understand, what the upcoming moments will bring. How much of our lives are like that? We plan, daydream, assume, and expect. Life throws curves, potholes, birds, scenery, and warm memories. We realize we can't know our future, but we try to live in it anyway. 

For this trip, we have our loose plan to ride down the coast, and back up the middle of California and Oregon. That's all I guess we need to know; for everything else, my desire is to experience each moment to the fullest, without thought of the last moment or the next. There has never been a better place for me to do that than on a motorcycle. And there has never been a more comfortable person for me to do that with than Nathan. Living in the moment takes a lot if trust in oneself and ones closest people. And with that trust, let our adventure begin!

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully said! Can't wait to follow your adventure. :)